Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Okay, so I’ve been neglecting making this post for a while. I wanted to have time to fully gather my thoughts on the film before I put them on the internet for all to read.

Now, before I go ahead and give my review, I’m going to warn you – SPOILERS AHEAD!! HEY YOU!! AT THE KEYBOARD!! IF YOU DON’T WANT THE MOVIE RUINED, READ NO FURTHER!! IF YOU KEEP READING IT WILL BE SPOILED, SO DON’T COMPLAIN IF YOU’RE TOO DUMB TO READ THIS MESSAGE!

*ahem* Okay now that that is taken care of…on to the review:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Obviously just came out this year (2008). The last time we saw the great Dr. Jones was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, released in 1989. So it’s been about 20 years since our last adventure, and everyone has grown up quite a bit, our star included. Now, when I first heard that this film was being made, I had the same thoughts as many – “Indy 4? But…Harrison Ford is in his sixties!! That’ll never work!!” However, for the most part, I was proven wrong. Harrison Ford was by far not the problem at all with this film – George Lucas was. Quite a bit of the movie is great, fun, and exciting, but once in a while it becomes clear that George got his hands on it and just went nuts.

But Harrison Ford, as I said, is great. He feels and looks like Indiana Jones, and they don’t ignore the age factor – they play on it. There are jokes at his expense, almost a few too many. They, in general, handle the age factor pretty well.

And Shia LaBeouf? I like the kid more and more each time I see him, though I will admit to being incredibly jealous of the fact that he got to be in movies with both Indiana Jones AND Optimus Prime. The jerk. However, he is likeable in the film, and he didn’t bother me, all in all I’d say a good addition to the franchise.

Now, the story. The movie starts off with a bang, Indy being kidnapped by Russians (who, it turns out, were just as bad shots as the Nazis) and being forced to find a Crystal Skull in a warehouse (which gives us a nice glimpse at a hint of the Ark of the Covenant). Now, this is a pretty exciting opening, but only a few moments into the film, we get the first “What the hell?” moment. After escaping from the Russians, the great adventurer finds himself trapped in the middle of a nuclear test site. Now, theoretically this wouldn’t be too bad, there would be some daring escape. This escape, however…involves a refrigerator. That’s right folks, our fearless hero escapes by climbing into a fridge and getting launched miles as the bomb goes off. Now, I try to tell myself that this was some reference to the original ideas for “Back to the Future”, where getting back to 1985 involved originally driving into a nuclear bomb, or the original concept being a fridge. However, even with those ideas, it still is stupid. I have a high suspension of disbelief – I can believe a lot while watching a movie. But this? Ten minutes into the movie and already I was thinking “Yeah….not buying it.” However, it did get better.

For the majority of the film, I have only one major complaint – things were too easy. Part of the joy of the old films was watching Indiana solve the clues, figure them out over time. In Raiders, he had to figure out where so many things were, using the staff at the right time of day to get it to point to the right spot. It was great, because nothing was easy. In this one, he gets a piece of paper from and old friend, which is written in a language that no one speaks or reads. In the period of about fifteen seconds, he realizes he can translate it using Mayan, and then realizes it is a riddle, which he also then solves without blinking an eye.

Oh.

Great.

Things like that happen quite a bit throughout the film. But I suppose those are a bit nitpicky. The action is fun, most of it is pretty good (there is a terrible terrible moment where LaBeouf swings on vines like Tarzan…) but the ending is just…not Indiana Jones. I don’t even know how to go on to explain it other than there are aliens and a flying saucer. In Indiana Jones. Read that again. Done yet? Okay. Mr. Spielberg and Mr. Lucas: FLYING SAUCERS DO NOT BELONG IN INDIANA JONES! I should rephrase that…THE WAY YOU HANDLED FLYING SAUCERS DOES NOT BELONG IN INDIANA JONES! I mean, if they could have handled it tastefully, not flat out come and shown it to us in all it’s cgi glory, maybe a hint…it would have felt more like it belonged. But the way it was handled was just poor. I was greatly disappointed by the ending.

So, I would say that perhaps the latest Indy movie is worth a rent. It wasn’t great, but it kept me entertained for the most part. And honestly? It was great seeing Harrison Ford don the fedora and whip once again.

-Pittsburgh Geek Out